some wins

i have to say that i've had a pretty productive weekend. i was away from home, attending a two-day meeting, and i'm not going to breach confidentiality. let's just say that there were two main goals i had in mind before i went, and togther with others, we managed to achieve both of those. these gains will have longlasting impact, so yay!

i have to say that hated having to be away this weekend, i wasn't looking forward to the meeting. i resented the time i was having to give, i hated being away from family, i hated not getting a rest after a pretty busy week & another busy one coming. but having achieved these wins for the benefit of a community (and therefore the whole community), i'm reminded why i do the things i do, and why it's definitely worth the trouble.

the other feeling i had, and this was even before we got what we wanted, was an incredible feeling of belonging & of feeling proud of my identity. personally, it's one of the most precious things i took from the weekend, because there aren't a lot of places where i truly feel i belong.

it's because i'm such an odd mix of things - not quite a migrant, since i came here when i was really young so sometimes i don't fit in too well with migrant communities; not very indian because i don't identify with so much of indian culture, history or present-day society; a feminist liberal muslim, which isn't as common as it should be; and not quite kiwi, because there are certainly bits of kiwi culture that i don't identify with either. in plenty of the spaces i move in, i feel so much like an outsider - and i suspect some of that also has to do with how i see myself. i probably belong better than i think i do, and some of the alienation is more to do with my past than my present.

so it was nice to be inspired this weekend, and nice to be part of something good. and certainly very nice to make some positive gains.