isn't amazing how many different ways people find to make life hell for others. i find it so difficult to understand really, this lack of empathy or concern about the effects of one's own actions. the inability to see beyond one's own experiences and imagine what life must be like for another. the willful decision to put one own's happiness above everything else, with a total disregard of the impact it will have.
which is not to say that i've never hurt anyone else. i know that i have, and there are some things that i would change if i could. but i can't think of a time when i deliberately carried out an action with an intent to cause pain. it's usually more of a lack of care on my part, a lack of sufficient thought as to consequences or how things would be interpreted.
but how to explain deliberate acts of cruelness or selfishness. i'm not a psychologist, so don't have at my fingertips any behavioural theories or particular knowledge of human development. i guess a lot of it is because of upbringing, and a result of nasty experiences. a cycle of misbehaviour as it were.
i'm rambling here, i know, because i've had a difficult day and am finding it hard to make sense of things. the best thing no doubt is to accept that things just don't make sense and there are no easy answers. i'm sure a good night's sleep will help.
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